It’s important that Black women know that they matter and that their lives are important. If you have not heard it today, and just in case your mind is playing tricks on you, we want you to know that we see you. This list is for you (and for us as well) to remind Black girls everywhere that we are enough.
IT’S OKAY TO BE SELFISH
We don’t treat ourselves nearly enough. We’re protectors. We’re providers, and we often neglect our wants and needs. Whether it’s a morning latte, a mani/pedi or that pair of Louboutins you’ve had your eye on– #TreatYoSelf
YOU ARE MORE THAN YOU BODY
Black women are often reduced to stereotypes about our bodies. The big ass. The wide hips, small waists and full lips. And while many black women and femmes are built fo’ the gawds, we have to make room for black women with other body types. We’re valid. We’re beautiful.
YOUR ANGER IS VALID
The “angry black woman” trope is old. It’s tired. Our anger is valid. It’s real, and we don’t have to suppress it to make others comfortable.
“You move on. You just do. You outgrow people and situations, you become repulsed by drama and small mindedness. You make new friends who meet you where you are. And you stop apologizing for the errors of your youth, you stop apologizing for being you and not catering to people’s stupid emotions. You say fuck you! If you don’t like me, fuck off. And then you continue to live fabulously, love those who love you and carry on.” 🍒 — Oroma Elewa, Creator and Publisher
ENJOY SEX OR DON’T. THE CHOICE IS ALWAYS YOURS
We are shamed when we have too much sex, and accused of being a tease when we say “no”. Your body is yours. Own your sexuality and do what makes you happy.
“I remember the first time that I lost my virginity, really the first thought that I had was, ‘Thank God it’s gone.'” — Keke Palmer, Actress
YOU DESERVE TO BE CAREFREE
Often times it feels as if the weight of the world rests on our shoulders. We owe it to ourselves to have moments of carefree, worry free unabashed joy. Whether it’s trying anew shade of lipstick, a new hairstyle or eating the dessert you were eyeing on the menu. Take advantage of the simple joys in life.
IT’S OKAY TO SAY NO.
Say “no”, and mean it. We can’t be everything to everyone all the time. It’s okay to say “no.”
IT’S OKAY TO SAY YES
We have difficulty saying “no” to that favor or that errand, or that loan we know we’ll never be repaid for. But we don’t often say ‘’yes’’. Say “yes” to date nights. Say “yes” to girls’ night. Say “yes” when your friend asks you if you need that money back she borrowed months ago. Hell, you need it too!
“I don’t live with regrets, ever. I don’t want to look back when I’m older like, ‘Oh man, what would have happened if?’ I’ve always kind of been I’m fearless and borderline reckless with my career choices. I quit my job once and moved to pursue an opportunity and then I came back home. I like moving around and going for it. There is really nothing to fear except not doing it.” — Whitney White, Beauty Entrepreneur
DON’T TIGHTEN UP
When Trick Daddy warned that we needed to tighten up or risk losing black men. Bye, boy. We don’t have to change for Trick Daddy or anybody else.
BLACK GIRLS TRAVEL
Travel is a privilege. It’s also expensive. But travel doesn’t always mean jetting off to Jamaica or Paris. Travel could simply mean a day drive or even train ride to a nearby town to try a new dish, visit a local B&B or see your favorite artist in concert.
YOU’RE EVERYTHING. SERIOUSLY.
Black women are the alpha, the omega. Our influence is everywhere. We’re often imitated, NEVER duplicated, and never given credit for our contributions to culture and society. Black girl magic is real. It’s beautiful. Embrace it.
– Creighton Leigh