Ah, Mother’s Day. It’s the day set aside to especially honor and celebrate our mothers and the influence they’ve had on our lives. A plethora of poems, a quantity of quotes, a trove of tributes will inundate the internet… enough to make you shed a tear, then roll your eyes. Tons of mushy gushy, lovey dovey, happy sappy mama moments… enough to make you gasp with emotion, then gag with exasperation. With that said, let’s do a bit of our own maternal monumentalization! But you know how we do… I mean, we Pick Fros and Pop Collars around this joint! So we gotta do it kinky style and acknowledge our natural hair, and our mamas, of course.
So, I started thinking back to that moment when I told my mom that I wanted to go natural. As my mother, I knew she would support me no matter what. But I also knew she would tell me her honest opinion. What I did not know, was that she was going to say something crazy! She said: “Honey, you know I love you. But if you go natural, you will not be able to get or keep a man with that short nappy hair!”
Um yeah. That’s what she really said. I had a comeback for my mom and I wanted to find out if I was the only natural that had experienced this so I put my research hat on and went out looking for daughters of other mommy dearest to find out what they would say or have said in response.
So, in honor of Mother’s Day, we found out what a few other naturalistas would say back to Mom, in defense of our natural hair, of course. If you are short on snapbacks yourself, be inspired by the witty comebacks of the naturals we spoke to. Here you go:
Your Natural Hair Snapback Inspiration…For Your Mama:
1. Mama, a real natural woman can keep a real man. Besides, it’s not my hair that would keep him! – Andrea (Currently Protective Styling with a Wig)
2. Mother, you should ask my husband about that.- Kesha (Big Chopper)
3. Ma’am, I’m sure that’s covered under the “for better or for worse” clause in our vows. – Summer (Big Chopper)
4. Mom, anyone hell bent on me having straight hair wouldn’t get my time in the first place. -Melissa (Big Chopper)
5. Ma, well what about the Indian we supposedly have in our family? That should mean I have good hair, right? -Sheba (Straight Haired Natural)
6. Mother, my man didn’t marry me FOR my hair, so why would he leave me because of it? – Chavos (Loves her Twist Out)
7. Mommy, let me worry about that. One way or another you will still get your grandkids! – Neka (Puff Lover)
8. Mom, you taught me better than that. The man I chose appreciates NATURAL beauty. – Quion (Wash and Go’er)
9. Dad married you and you had stretch marks and cellulite before kids. I think I’ll do just fine. – Taneshia (BAA – Big Ass Afro)
So I know you’re wondering what I said back to my mom after her comment on my decision to go natural I decided to go natural:
10. Mama, so your relaxed hair is how you kept your man all these years? Oh, that’s right, you don’t have a man!
Yep, that’s what I really said. And then we both laughed our heads off. I love you mama!
“No wire hangers and NO natural hair, ever!!” Mother Knows Best, Or Does She?
– Autumn Tribitt