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marah ruby preserved wishes

It’s one of those things that is a need in life, not a want. Patience is required for dealing with that person in front of you at Starbucks who doesn’t know what they want and asks the barista about everything. It’s also required for the person who knows exactly what they want and proceed to tell the barista a mile long list. It’s required for rush hour traffic, queues for a huge makeup sale and yes, natural hair.

Whether you’ve set a goal for your hair or not, patience is required. Kinky strands require TLC and no, not Left Eye and her killer rhymes (RIP). TLC as in tender, loving care. You can’t be patient without being gentle. Even the Good Book says so. A lot of the times we don’t realize they both go hand in hand. In a frustrating relationship with your hair or someone, patience is needed and gentleness needs to be right there.

If I wasn’t patient, my hair wouldn’t be where it is today. I set a goal to reach waist length.. I didn’t really set a time frame but from the time of my BC, patience was something I had to learn. I’m naturally very impatient. No bueno. Also being gentle. Detangling is one of those dreaded moments for every fly kinky gal and being gentle is a requirement. The amount of times I’ve wanted to rush through that process and be done in 15 minutes, Lord knows. I know I wouldn’t get out the knots in that time and if I did, my hair would be in shreds & shambles. Trust me, I’ve gone at my hair with a paddle brush really quickly and saw so much breakage…Not again. Patience + Gentleness = Something Good. Being gentle has helped to preserve my length and to reach my goal.

Or a relationship with a loved one. You don’t see any form of growth in your interactions with them. They frustrate you, annoy you. You really just want to cut them out of your life. It’s not that they are toxic (if they are, let em go) but you just lack the patience the situation demands. Tough cookie to swallow I know, I’ve had that revelation myself when it comes to some of my relationships. When we pray for patience, we don’t magically get it in a pill and results in a week. We get people that require us to develop the patience to deal with them. Co-workers, cousins and colleagues alike.

With the advance of having things quickly at the press, tap or swipe of our fingers, it can be hard to grasp the concept of waiting…the art of learning to be patient. Patience isn’t idly waiting either, it’s waiting with a purpose. No matter if it’s a situation you’re going through or just a Sunday afternoon detangling session.

Take those situations as a learning process to learn to be patient. It doesn’t just happen overnight and neither does hair growth.

– Allison Miché
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