Big Chop, Natural Hair, TWA
Coming to terms with a loss. It just happened this weekend, although it probably should have happened sooner. I was looking through pictures from a friend’s party when I noticed the awfully thin patch of hair behind my ear. The thing was so obvious that I’m surprised no one told me about it. Now I knew I needed a trim. Instead of getting longer, it seems like my hair just gets thicker. So after months of being in denial, it was finally time to face the problem.
My usual barber, AKA my beau, sat me down and said he’d cut it. I’d just had new photos taken for my portfolio, and I wanted to trim and blend my hair while still retaining some length. He assessed the situation, then began cutting. I saw little kinks and curls fall to the floor, but I’m not worried. I know my hair has a lot of bulk. My scalp finally started to breathe a little easier. But the longer it took and the more hair I saw drop to my feet, the more worried I got. I kept talking to him through the process to make sure he wasn’t going too short. All the while he was assuring me that he was doing what he could.
When it was done, I got up and walked to the mirror. There staring back at me was this image of myself I wasn’t happy to see. Tears came pouring from my eyes. My hair was nearly gone. My beau explained that it was difficult to blend the extremely short area with my longer curls, so he just cut it all. In my heart, I knew he did the best he could but I was still so upset. I’ve had my hair this short before, but I wasn’t prepared for this chop.
In all honesty, I needed a fresh start. Stress had caused my hair to break off behind my ear (I have a habit of pulling my hair in that spot when I’m stressed) and my curls were having a hard time trying to recover. I just didn’t want to accept that I had actually been under a lot of pressure. I tried to hide the truth from myself, but my hair just couldn’t lie. Now I’ve cut my losses and I’m pushing forward. I love my hair, but sometimes you’ve just got to let go.
Can you relate? When was the last time you had to “let go” of your natural hair from a much needed cut for better ends, to even out a style or just to start new? How did you deal?
